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Thursday, June 30, 2011

Can I fit into the Picture?

Life has changed since last few months. No longer spending the weekends alone. Trying to fit into new picture is extremely hard even though things seems easy. It may look easy but it isn't.

Trying to bring two sides of family is a failure if there is no effort from both side and that is what I'm facing now. Stucked in the middle ain't a real fun but instead it is a misery. Looking back what I have did is correct or no, is a total waste, all I can do now is just continue doing what I feel is right.

Am I really being accepted and loved is another question.Things look so lovey in front but at back, who knows what is really happening? The fact that I just came can't be changed and the truth that the maximum love is not there also can't be changed. I will always be the black sheep? maybe or maybe not.

Somehow, life have to move on and I'm wondering what future holds for me. Leaving aside whether the world ends in 2012 or no, Im more concerned on what 2012 holds for me. Where I will be and what I will be doing is not the matter. With who I will be is the big question mark.

Sitting here alone while sipping a cup of teh-o just triggering alot ALOT of questions!!



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Saturday, June 18, 2011

A Father who is not a Father

Too many things to be handled in this life yet life have to move on. It not gonna be the same ever again.

It is Father's day tomorrow and my father's birthday as well but sad as it is, he is no longer in this world. In a confusion state, to be honest, I do miss a man called dad to be there for me. I'm pretty sure that my life would have been different if he is still alive.

For this Father's Day, as a change and as a appreciation, I would convey my wishes to my Uncle who has been taking care of me. Father's Day is not just a day of appreciation for Fathers but it is for all the mans out there especially for my my Uncles.

You have did alot for me, maybe more than what my dad would have done if he is still alive. All the way from young, You took care of me. I don't think I would have made it without your help. You are a uncle with a heart of a father. All this years, I never wished You "Happy Father's Day" but this year I would like to make a change.

All I could say now is, You have been there for me as my dad and took care of me very well. I don't even my dad would have done this far for me. Thanks Chitapa for taking care of me. I may have not said that I love you but you know that I do.

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